For many years Ive struggled with the image I see in the mirror. I see her now and I finally like what I see. Its only the last few months that Ive really understood why Ive felt so negative about what I saw for so long....

Too many years Ive gave power to words from others. Ive carried those words with me in my heart and compared myself to others just trying to be a better me. In the end Ive always felt Ive fallen short.

When I got diagnosed with Arnold-Chiari Malformation and a brain stem tumor in Feb 2010 I was at a place in my life that I felt good about myself FINALLY! Physically I was feeliing pretty rough but I had a great job, and I turned heads for the first time in my life and IT FELT GOOD!

Now for those of you who dont know my back ground...I spent many years weighing 300+ pounds.

This picture was taken was taken Dec 25th 2005.

I was diagnosed with severe spinal arthritus in 1996 and was having to use a can to walk. I was working as a CNA at the time but could no longer do the heavy lifting the job required. At that time my doctor tried to get me to sign up on disability but I refused and choose to go back to school. I choose to go into the computer field thinkin that surely would be something that I could do in my condition. I was promised job placement upon graduation...I was offered two jobs...one in Atlanta,GA and one in Nashville,TN. I lived in Crossville, TN and had four small girls at the time. There was no way I was going to relocate to a big city where we knew no one so I passed on the jobs and never did find a job to use my skills with here in my town.I refused to give up and sign up for disability and kept looking for work that I could do.

My girls and I had a rough go of things but we managed and I believe to this day its what has made us so strong. I never gave up on being healthy and I never said,"I cant make it" We held together and we survived!

My condition worsened and in 2005 the surgery on my back  that I had put off for years I accepted because I could no longer stand the pain. Upon a new MRI of my back I was told the arthritus was too far gone and nothing could be done for me. The surgery that had been offered to me for years that I was so scared would put me in a wheel chair was no longer an option. Now it was a reality...I would be in a wheel chair within a year.

I knew my weight aggravated my condition but I had been in no condition for years to exercise. I discussed gastic by-pass with my doctor and he said it would be my only hope to keep me out of a wheel chair. I was terrified to have the surgery done because its extermely risky but I wanted to feel alive again not just take up  space in this world. I wanted to live a long life with my family.

I had the surgery on Dec 27th 2005, thats right exactly 2 days after the above picture was taken and Ive lost over 150lbs. It was a rough process to go through physically and emotionally. I was sick alot but the weight came off. Finally I physically started feeling a little better every day and I started to smile at the results of the risk I had taken in having the surgery.The pain in my back got less intense as the pounds came off. I'll always have back issues as there is no cure for arthritus BUT the pain is ok now.

 I was doing great until my Chiari symptoms started showing themselves. Now my life is in a whirlwind again! However...I know that I will come back from this crisis too. God has healed me of the brain stem tumor THANK YOU GOD!!!!!  and I know he walks with me daily. There is nothing I cannot accomplish  through the power of God!


God has enlightened me on alot of  things about myself through this illness...for instance...all those years of having a certain man in my life who use to put me down over not lookin good enough have affected me to my core. Ive got to let that go. Its funny, but I think Im prettier than him now *lolololo

Ive learned that some times a realationship that has no communication is the worst kind of relationhip of them all. Along with that though, it has taught me that some times its better to be alone than to have someone lie to your face or not talk to you at all when you need them the most.

Ive learned that this mole under my left eye that in most of my pictures I airbrush away is a beautiful thing...you know why?... it came from my daddy, Dudley

The lines on my face have came from time on this earth and Im thankful for every line and every day that Ive spent here with my precious family.

Ive learned that my stubborn streak and my unwillingness to give up in life has came from the most wonderful and precious woman in the world...my momma Bonnie


Most of all Ive learned that when Ive wanted to give up I have unstoppable strength that I call upon. A never ending supply that will always be there courtesy of my girls & g-babies...Amanda, Latisha, Dana, Kate, Chelsea, CJ, Jade, Karly, Lacey, Hayden, Sammy, Annie, Blaze, Austin, Lillie, Sydney

Yea, Ive learned alot in 42yrs but the biggest lesson of all has been that GOD & FAMILY is all that really matters in this life. Not hiding the wrinkles on my face or maybe the extra pound I might have gained.

Love your God,your  family & yourself people...that's what makes the world go round :)

Where to begin?????

Well as some of you already know I was diagnosed with Arnold-Chiari Malformation and a brain stem tumor in Feb of 2010. I had posterior fossa decompression surgery on May 6th 2010. Several months later I was told that the tumor on my brain stem was cancer. I was also told nothing could be done for me and I was given meds to help with pain and to ward off seizures. Then I was basically sent home to die.

I went home and was devastated at my news. Prayers were sent up EVERY WHERE FROM EVERYONE. Then we got a glimmer of hope when my oldest daughter heard on a St. Judes was doing treatments on children with brain stem tumors that were cancerous. I contacted my dr and they contacted St. Jude and the wheels started turning to get the treatment for me.

I went it for the new MRI of my tumor and to get my first appointment arranged with the ongology department of Vanderbilt. . The MRI shown that the tumor was completely gone! I was amazed to say the least. My daughter and I started calling everyone we knew to share the news and it spread like wild fire. Oh what a miracle God had provided.

I got home that night and made a video for my Facebook friends that had been so loyal in praying for me. I scanned one of my old MRIs and the new one that I had gotten that day saying the tumor was gone! I was so happy to show them what they had help to accomplish.

The disease of chiari and the tumor has taken me down in every way a woman can be taken down. I had to stop working so finacially its about as bad as it can get. Mentally they have taken a toll on me to the point that all I did for quite some time was cry because the thought of leaving my family was killing me. Physically Im a mess now. My body is weak and I feel so tired all the time. I look like Ive aged 10yrs in the last year.

I have been given such a miracle and I intend on thanking my God for it every day for it. I am going to fight to come back physically with all that I have. I know that I am lucky to have even made it through the brain surgery and to get a healing from God like this is just amazing!

I still have chiari and there is no cure for it. I do exspect to have surgery again in the future for that BUT I know through God all things are possible! You never know, in 6 months when I go back for my next MRI it might show that I have grew new skull in the back of my head and my brain may be lifted back where it should be. GOD IS A GOOD GOD!